Hi ho, hi ho, a-novelling we go

I can never work out whether I listen to Feeder because I'm depressed or whether it's because I'm listening to Feeder that I'm depressed. All that needs to be known is that at the end of a long week I'm listening to Feeder and feeling distinctly introspective and deflated. Something tells me I need to listen to something that'll get me fired up.

Unsurprisingly, I've not had much time for writing over the last few weeks. Work has had me exhausted and at the end of most days I've not wanted to pore over many words - it's my job to read thousands of pages of records every week. More often it's been a case of tea, kill time on the internet, watch an episode of Caprica and then bed.

But it's not stopped me doing a little writing. I've managed to get some sent off over the last few weeks, and I've been making sure that I'm gathering Lab Ways influences to me. This has entailed purchasing the full box-set of Buffy the Vampire Slayer and spending time making pointless notes before finally setting finger to keyboard and writing 300 words last weekend. This weekend I plan on writing more.

How much more? I really don't know. I've occasionally thought of trying to get someone as a reader to encourage me to produce more work rather than ditching the project a few weeks after I start it on grounds of frustration, having tried to draft the opening six or seven times and getting no further than perhaps 6,000 words in (out of a projected 125,000). But I don't really want to do that.

Instead, what I want to do is get rid of the frustrations I have with my own writing and just cut loose. I want a few sessions where I write 2,000 words a time. I want weeks where I write 15,000 words. But I have the problem where my own perfectionist nature will take over. I sometimes think if I can get a buffer of 30,000 words behind me I'll be able to crack on. And so it is once more that I try to get this novel out of the way.

I'll be having a full afternoon on it tomorrow, and probably an hour or two on Sunday. The target is 5,000 words, beginning with Chapter Two. Chapter One will wait until later.

The end of all things academic

So that's it. The end of my career as an undergraduate student. After four years of hard work I'm out the other end.

Of course, I haven't graduated yet, and for the next few weeks I'll be in limbo about my final results, but barring disaster I won't be back. And in mid-July I'll graduate once and for all from Northumbria. Being honest, I can't say I'll be sorry to leave the place behind, considering its ability to make life harder than it needed to be. The people will be what I miss.

And then there will be that ever-so-frustrating few weeks where I'm graduated, but can't call myself a barrister. My call to the bar is a couple of weeks after my graduation and for those agonising days I'll know that I won't be able to put 'barrister at law' on my CV, even though my exams will be finished, I won't have to go back (all being well), and I'm just waiting for the formal rubberstamping of my status.

In the mean time, it's job applications after this next couple of days, where I'll be determined to chill, at least for a time. I've spent today watching cricket and the evening will be spent reading Iain M. Banks' latest novel, Surface Detail. Which isn't a bad way to spend my time.

Writing progress!

I feel slightly guilty. Today's been a slow day on the dissertation, with just over 400 words written, and yet here I am skiving off doing work to write about something completely unrelated. Perhaps it's a sign that the times they are a-changing, that I'm working like a lunatic. I was out last night for the first time in goodness knows how long, and yet rather than relaxing and enjoying a couple of acoustic sets in a chilled atmosphere, I was left thinking about referees and their duty of care in relation to a particular hypothetical situation.

Of course, I shouldn't feel guilty. I am allowed a break. I'm halfway through the dissertation now, and I'm through the toughest bit, pulling all the little minutiae of the law together to form a coherent picture. Next comes the fun bit of criticising it and then writing my conclusions. Besides, if I'm working all the time then I'll burn myself out at exactly the wrong time of year.

On this basis, I finally managed to get some writing done the other night. Admittedly, this was at one in the morning, but it was good to get all creative. Even if it was just the planning stage. It was even nicer that the plan I did manage to knock up for myself is of a good-sized project that should keep me busy a while with doing bits and bobs of research, then writing it (I reckon it'll be 20,000 words or so), then editing it. And the even better bit is that I have another project to work on in tandem.

Neither of these stories is small. The first one requires research and careful world-building. The second needs a steady hand. It'll be a case of subtly attacking current government social policy within the context of a fictional near-future setting, which makes it an awkward balance; while I want to get the story across (and it's a good story), I don't want the messages to be missed, and by the same token I don't want the criticism of the government to be overbearing.

But for now, it's back to the dissertation. Frustrating as it is, it has to be done. In order to make it a little more bearable, I have described it in videogaming terms to myself. And I'll do the same here. It's like I've been through the little minor bosses, and now here's the end of game boss. Can't fail at this stage.

The Very Hungry Helicopter

Bladed rotors in the sky at night,
Steady, keeping craft in flight.
Hovering for moments, light on ground,
Always making the constant sound:

Nomnomnomnomnomnom.

Like a hungry Pac-Man chased by ghosts,
Or a field of cows constrained by posts,
Flighted sentinel of the darkest night,
Keeping watch from a great height.

(Possibly the most hopeless attempt at poetry in years. Especially the Pac-Man reference. But it's all come from a curious conversation walking home from Newcastle on Thursday night/Friday morning at 1am.)

Coursework and related musings

Coursework bites like a Jack Russell. Firstly, you know it's going to do it, but there's very little you can do to dissuade it (and any kicks attempting to do so will just make it worse). Then it'll clamp its jaws onto your calf and cling on for dear life. The pain will be extreme at the time, and it'll ensure you're incapacitated for hours on end.

Whilst that was a somewhat tortured simile, I think it gets my point across. Even having Kerrang Radio on in the background blasting Biffy Clyro isn't doing anything to null the throbbing ache at the front of my head as a result of spending much of the last couple of days laying the foundations for my Sentencing coursework essay. The good news is that I finally have a skeleton for the essay and that it shouldn't take much above two or three days to write. The bad news is that I have another 3,500 essay to write after this one, and once that's done I have a dissertation to work on.

All this coursework is getting in the way. It means I'm going to spend a grand total of 5 days off in my 3 weeks away from Newcastle. It means I don't have the time to focus on the two short stories I'm writing. Perhaps most irritatingly, it means I don't get the time to play Football Manager 2011 as much as I'd like to. I really want to have at least a season done in my developing world leagues game (MLS, A-League, Russian Premier Division), but if I'm beyond pre-season with Melbourne Heart then it should be regarded as a success.

On the other hand, it's nice to be away from uni. Once again, I'd got to the stage where the library was becoming more a prison than a place I could look forward to going to get some work done. The SLO was slightly better (it has natural light), but the building in general was starting to feel oppressive. The weather was hardly helping. Snow on the ground, silver building, grey skies; the world painted in greyscale. At least here I have the view of blue skies, skeletal trees out back, the houses on Church Lane, very Scandanavian with their caps of white.

Oh, and there's the PS3 behind me if ever I really need to get away for a few minutes.

Let's do the time warp again

I've now been back 7 weeks (to all slackers elsewhere, that's 7 weeks of intense, demanding work. Unlike your Media Studies degree), and by now I should be settled back in to the demands of Northumbria University and her LLB Bar Exempting degree. Of course, this being the fourth year the workload is now larger than an obese elephant, and it feels like I'm trying to shift it using a single shovel made of damp papier mache.

On the plus side, I am ahead with Law and Lit by about 3 weeks and the SLO's yet to really bite hard with its workload, so I've been able to get my dissertation synopsis sent off. I still have to complete my provisional bibliography (referencing about 60 cases and articles is proving to be somewhat problematic and exceedingly boring), but it's a start. Now to get cracking with the wonders of the introductory chapter. All 2,000 words of it.

Seeing as I'm meant to write about writing, I may as well give an update on that. In the past week I've managed to get one story finished and sent off (OK, it was 9 days ago, but hey), as well as make a start on another new one. I'm not much into the second of these, but that's entirely because I have a massive workload and no time at the moment.

It's also a major reason my reading volume is down this week. Normally I manage 50-0dd pages a night. This week the average has been 20, although I envisage that going up this evening after WriSoc's weekly karaoke sesh. Where we'll be doing the Time Warp. Again. The evening has the potential to be momentous, mostly because there is a chance I'll be singing. After Enter Sandman in the epic win of a fortnight ago, I need something to top that. Ace of Spades, anyone?