Where's my motivation to write gone?
It used to be there constantly. When I wasn't writing I'd be thinking about it, formulating situations and characters that would find their way to paper at some point in the near future. Days would go by when I wrote 4,000 and 5,000 words. Sometimes at the end of the day those words would disappear, consigned to the dustbin by my perfectionist tendencies, but they would have been there.
University hasn't made it easy to write, but that shouldn't be impacting on my motivation to do so in any way. It hasn't quenched my thirst to read, so by the same token my writing should be similarly unaffected. I suppose the last few weeks have been more than a little stressful, with writing an entire dissertation in under a month, work in the SLO to complete and then revision and exam preparation to be getting on with, and it's only natural I want some time doing nothing but curling up with a good book, but I should still have the writing bug.
I have ideas as well. Three good ideas to sink my creative teeth into. So it isn't like I'm struggling for that spark of inspiration. I just haven't got the motivation.
Normally, this afternoon would be the perfect opportunity to do an hour or two in front of the iMac with Word open, bashing out a few hundred words of a short story. I've managed to get four chapters of my book on ADR revised thanks to having an earlier start this morning, and I'm giving it some time before I go back to work on that. Not one, but two story ideas are lodged at the front of my mind, and I have extensive notes on both easily available to me, just the click of a button away. But I just don't have the motivation to write at the moment.
It's frustrating. On one level I want to be fleshing out a new SF world, creating an alien landscape that would transport a reader to imaginary planes of existence. But on another I just can't be bothered with taking the time and effort to do that. I want some time of doing nothing.
Perhaps a short break will see me right. Once I'm through this exam on Friday, then the opening Advocacy exam on Tuesday (I think), I'll have a little time to recover myself. Most of that time will be spent scouting the jobs market, but there will still be time to sit and relax. Maybe after a week or two the bug will bite again. I hope fervently that it does.